Caution, Chang-ing Ahead

“Have you been Chang-ed yet?” is now a common phrase heard among the Times’s Pyeongchang crew.

Yes, Chang has become a verb.  Definition: To accompany Chang Lee in drinking or eating high jinks — or both. (The dash in Chang-ed is necessary because the word “changed” was already taken. Although you will be forever changed by the experience.)

Some relish the opportunity to experience the Korean culture through Chang, Times photographer and our official Korean ambassador and culinary tour guide. Others find endless excuses to decline his invitations, like, “I’m sorry Chang, I’d love to, but I have to cover mixed doubles curling tonight.”

All who have been Chang-ed so far have lived to tell the tale. There was, however, an uneasy blowfish moment with John Branch. More on that later.

When accompanying Chang on one of his “outings”, the only option is to let him take over. He will order and everyone present will go along for the ride. There is no, “You know Chang, I think I’ll have the Caesar salad with chicken.” No one wants to disappoint Chang. We all love him too much for that, and the sadness in his eyes when you don’t play along is simply too much to take.

You may remember that I was Chang-ed in Beijing (although the verb had not made it into the lexicon yet). Brad Smith, then the Times’s sports photo editor, Chang and I went for dinner. Chang ordered and I still don’t know what I ate that night.

So far on this trip, I have been let off easy — just an Olympic Torch Tornado or two on my birthday.

John Branch had been receiving daily texts from Chang asking when John would be available for dinner. John wasn’t opposed to the idea but I’m thinking he needed time to summon the courage. A couple of nights ago, it was time for John to get Chang-ed.

Here are some excerpts from John’s Facebook post:

”Late night eats with Chang W. Lee, who knows his way around live fish and octopus in Korea. The nerves in the octopus keep it moving for a while after it’s chopped up; if you don’t chew quickly, it suctions to your cheeks. That pretty sliced sushi is blowfish, which we just saw in the tank a few minutes before; parts of it can kill you, of course, but these people say they’re licensed (if not, goodbye!). Orange stuff is sea squirt, which tastes as delicious as its name. Too much other stuff to picture.”

What John didn’t post, but told us last night when he joined us for Korean BBQ, was the episode with the blowfish. As John mentioned, if it is not cleaned properly it can kill you. And Chang mentioned to John that you will know there is a problem if you start to get really tired. And wouldn’t you know about halfway through the blowfish John felt very tired. It’s the Olympics, he thought, we’re always tired. But then Chang seemed worried. “John,” he said, ”I’m feeling very tired.”

Chang summoned the waitress and asked her to check with the chef. John watched intently as the waitress talked to the chef, looking for any sign of panic from the chef. No such look surfaced. The waitress returned and assured Chang that everything was fine. John wondered what she would have said otherwise.

The last course is a stew made largely from the leftover detritus of what they had just eaten. When it arrived, Chang proceeded to take out the bones and other inedible parts (who knew anything was inedible in Korea). With great excitement Chang said, “John, look, see this? It is a delicacy. You must eat this!”

What is it Chang?”

“I’ll tell you after. Press it between your tongue and the roof of your mouth.”

“That’s an interesting flavor and texture. So what was it?”

“The blowfish semen sac!”