Khachapuri and Moonshine
I think this story is best told by Sam Borden, A Times sports reporter, who also wrote about this episode on his blog: samborden.com.
I regret there are not pictures of the actual excursion, although there are many pictures of the aftermath.
This from Sam’s blog:
Greetings from The Games, Feb. 18
Good morning. Greetings from Krasnaya Polyana. I’m determined to actually see a little ski jumping this afternoon and then tonight is the start of the women’s bobsled event featuring, among others, Lolo Jones and Lauryn Williams.
For now though, let me tell you the story of how I ended up drinking Russian moonshine in the middle of the afternoon yesterday.
So, as you may have gathered from my previous posts, the food here generally ranges from high-school cafeteria to 2 a.m.- bodega. There are some outliers – occasionally Food Court 1 will throw a decent soup out there – but a steady diet of MielPops and fruit at breakfast has been a significant part of my nutrition here.
Because of this, when my colleague, Joe, mentioned that he’d heard there was a great Georgian restaurant not far from the media center, I was immediately excited. A group of us made the 10 minute walk and found the tiny eatery tucked into a side street.
The restaurant was spare but welcoming. The only problem was that there were six rectangular tables – three on each wall – and they were all full. We were going to have to wait.
Sitting at one table was a family from Belarus – husband, wife, son. They motioned to a few of us that we could sit with them while we waited, and so we did. Myself, Joe and a web producer named Justin sat across from them.
The Belarussians were kind. They spoke in broken English but offered us some of their food – including delicious khachapuri, which is like a calzone with a fried egg on it. Then they offered us some of their drinks, which included a large bottle of Jagermeister. Remember: it was 2:30 in the afternoon.
It seemed important to the man that we drink with him. “Is 40 percent, 40 percent,” he kept saying, pointing to the bottle’s label which stated, quite clearly, that it was 35 percent alcohol. “This is best in world,” he said, as his wife nodded. “Super! Super! Super!” he said.
This continued on for a while. Then he asked, sort of out of nowhere, “Do you have 5 minutes to see something very beautiful? Do you want to see it? I will take you there right now.” All of us, obviously, politely declined to go “see something beautiful” with this strange man. Except for Joe, who inexplicably said, “Yes, of course, I’ll go with you.”
A few minutes later, Joe and the man and his family left the restaurant. The rest of us sort of assumed we’d never see Joe again. We began talking about whether we should tell the rest of our colleagues about Joe disappearing before or after we described how delicious the Georgian food was. We all agreed we’d tell them about the food first, then mention that Joe was likely gone forever.
About thirty minutes later, Joe walked back into the restaurant. He said the man had taken him to a hotel a few minutes away from the restaurant that had been built by the man’s friend. Joe said it was actually quite gorgeous – great views, a spa, a stunning lobby – but that at some point the man from the restaurant left him to continue the tour of the hotel property with just the man’s wife and the hotel owner.
As they went down the stairs to the basement of the main building, Joe said, the man’s wife commented, “Oh, I’ve never been down here before,” which was about the point that Joe began to get a little nervous.
But then when they walked into the room, it was clear that Joe was not seeing a Russian torture chamber. Rather, he had walked into a homemade distillery.
There were bottles and glasses and tubes running everywhere. Joe said the hotel owner vaguely described the potions as plum wine but the whole place smelled more like rubbing alcohol. He gave Joe a bottle of one cocktail to take with him and Joe brought it to the restaurant to show to us.
The bottle had no markings on it except for some Russian letters and the number 13. It smelled sort of like gasoline or, maybe, battery acid. It had a few bugs floating in the bottom of it.
Did we taste it? Of course we did. And, you know, it tasted pretty much exactly as you would imagine. It burned my lips. It burned my throat. It cleared my sinuses almost immediately. I imagine it probably tasted like that stuff you spray on charcoal briquettes to help start a barbecue fire.
Still, we were all pleased. Joe was alive. We were eating Georgian food. And we had tasted bootleg Russian liquor. It was, if nothing else, a nice break from what we find at Food Court 1.
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- Our Georgian restaurant find
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- Lamb chops were awesome
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- I gave the Belarusian a pin. He gave me his hat.
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- That word means plum, we’re told
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- Bedel and Jon
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- Nancy pointing out the bugs in the bottle
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- My Belarusian friend
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- Tasty Georgian salad
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- Bring back the goods
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- Justin’s moonshine debut
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- Jon takes a swig
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- Sam Borden
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- A toast with the Belarusian
Eat at Joe’s 
NOW we’re starting to see you let your hair down! “Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration..dont fail us now!” (Blues Bros) Keep that high octane MoJOE going Brother and feed us “the rest of the story”! Of course this means AnnaB will now go through 17 states of emotion following some of these exploits! Don’t worry Ill send her Dark Chocolate!
Many thanks to Sam, great contribution, and please continue to shine a little penlight on that old WardHog for us!
STILL laughing out loud after this one! Although it begs the question, what were you thinking, following strangers into a basement?? Heartwarming that your colleagues were so concerned that they at least considered putting your “disappearing into the gulag” story ahead of the “wow, they were some delicious vittles” story. Now I understand the lack of a blog entry yesterday; it was the hangover factor! Glad you had some fun (and that you’re alive to steal someone’s blog entry about it).
What? No, here’s a piece if candy can I give you a drive home in my big van with no windows? Enjoy the shine, please stay out of any more basements!
Ha! I knew there was hooch involved. Of course we all know why Joey inexplicably went into the dark…the blog… I hope all the other bloggers over there are paying you cash on the barrel head for your efforts.
Oh my goodness! I can only repeat what our sister said: “What were you thinking?” Thanks to Sam Borden for the story. So glad you’re providing material f
There were no windowless vans, just a friendly Belarusian family who offered us their food and drink. Was it too much to accept an offer to “Go see something beautiful”?
The hotel had a music room where the owner plays his guitar while the patrons eat and drink. It had a huge picture window that perfectly framed the ski jump off in the distance. (The window was built before the ski jump was.) Quite spectacular.
When we entered the “wine-making room” they insisted it was plum wine. The countless bottles were filled with clear liquid. I don’t believe a plum has ever come within a mile of this place. The owner pulled out three shot glasses and then started opening the bottles, smelling each one to find just the right one, I presume. If what I drank was the best he could find, I shutter to think what the others tasted like.
And you’re right Banushka, you know what it’s like: the lengths we go to spice up the blog!
I guess I touched the wrong spot and posted before I wanted to.
Anyway — nice of you to provide material for Sam’s blog!!!
About to head up to the deck near the top of the half pipe again, this time for guys on skis. Snowing and raining like the begeezus out there.
“But I say we keep playing, I don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for quite a while!” Carl Spackler.
Please don’t speak to and/or follow any strangers while you’re up there. ..with or without hooch.
I could use a little of that hooch in this weather. Getting kinda like your weather.
Oh, that doesn’t bode well for your day.
“A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.” Ty Web.
Russian Hooch without potato or grain, is gasoline? Budem zdorovy Joe!
Your hootch sounds just like what the Czechs out here call Sliovitz which is also supposedly made from plums. It also burns and clears your sinuses!!
And the kids are always the ones being warned not to talk to strangers, sounds like you’re talking to the wrong generation! You drank it even after finding the bugs?!
Anyone else find it amusing that Michigan sister can’t even spell hooch right?
Looking at those photos more closely, I think you were absolutely loaded… tipsy… smashed…. three sheets to the wind. You and Archie. Please, don’t roll down that halfpipe and embarrass us all again.
Oops! Hooch!!
I, for one, find it amusing that the two people teeing off on you (For what I call just being adventurous and trying to absorb some local “color”!) are people who they themselves would follow a complete stranger into an abandoned hotel in 1970’s NYC?
Vyse Guy, I was REALLY hoping nobody would dredge up that escapade. For the record, Aunt Joanne gets a pass; she wasn’t with me.
Thanks Vyse Guy, I was about to bring that up except I was a little fuzzy on the details. And by the way, I believe being curious is Journalism 101.
I think that today, in the post-booze haze, you’re just fuzzy. Period.
I wasn’t sure of the details either so I just figured I’d throw everyone under the bus. Joseph, if you’re looking for a souvenir for me, batch #13 will do just fine.
Would Batch #13 be a gaggle of girls? Ski jumpers, perhaps?
That was hilarious and I want to throw in my thanks for going to an undisclosed location with foreign strangers for the good of the blog!!!
Well done!
Joe, Joe, Joe. When in Russia………………………. Glad you got away with your life. You have turned into quite the adventurer. Or were you just stinking drunk? Chloe and I watched the snowboarders tonight in the fog. Crazy! Bet they would up for your basement adventures. Love the stories, seems like you are having a good time. When are you headed home?
Patricia, you have to stop having kids because your blog name is nearing maximum capacity.
Watch your back Joe. Vyseguy, the bugs were dead. Glad it was only moonshine, not mayhem. I would like 3 bottles of number 13.
Sincerely, Dawn
Happy Birthday Twonka,
If The Olympics ever end we’ll have to get together and raise a glass of batch #whatever to your health (so you live long and provide us with delicious chocolate.)
Ya know, of all the past Olympics jw has”worked” so hard at, I don’t remember so many of his family members requesting say, pasta or vino from Turin; Spider Crab, Salmon or Trempettes from Vancouver, Bangers and Mash from across the pond…but mention HOOCH and family and friends are coming out of the woodwork! Geez! Instead of naming Mel’s pup Sochi, Hooch now seems more appropriate.
BTW, I think if you check all the way back to the very first post of this Olympic’s blog, I was the first to request a bottle, for medicinal purposes only, of course.
Nice job Ligety, I’ll donate 5 bucks towards his medal tax!
Thanks Anna B!
Chocolate is on the way! Can’t wait for dinner, drinks and stories!
TWONKA!! Happy birthday to our favorite Chocolate Bunny Man! Is this the birthday commonly referred to as “double nickels??” I believe it is. Have a wonderful day in spite of your advanced age!
Happy Birthday, Twonka!
The face plant in the snows of Copper Mountain was all worth it.
Ligety wins gold. And I had my camera with me. couldn’t take my finger off the shutter release: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/02/19/sports/olympics/mens-giant-slalom.html?_r=0
I’m assuming the Olympics have been canceled now that Russia hockey has lost! Ligety,ligety,ligety ( must be said in dale Jarrett NASCAR voice). Happy bday twonka. If sister #2 is right, I believe you just moved to the whites. ( nongolfers nevermind). I was sad to see GBR woman’s curling lost today in semis. Still waiting on photos. Pay close attention, if they lose their next match they would be fourthers!
Happy Birthday Twonka! Can someone tell me who Twonka is? I’ll sure I would like him if he has chocolate. I however, am not thinking of the moonshine. I am still stuck on the puppies. Joe, can you find out if they speak Russian or English? Please. Well, I guess I should check Joe’s interactive thingy. Joe, when are you coming HOME?
Ok, Joe. I just checked the interactive thingy. Wow, what a great life you are having!!!!!!!!!!! All the travel adventures, and of course there is that Prima Banana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t wait to see more photos someday soon in New York, I hope. Ok, let’s make it Maine.
Dear sister Lolo,
(remember Lolo Jones, another famous joe ward interactive from London…she’s back…. bobsled…. but I digress)
You remember TWONKA aka Terry, Master Chocolatier, maker of those awesome chocolate, caramel, nut covered apples at our wedding. And Sally, who made those awesome candied apples look so beautiful. And where is your lovely wife Terry?
I imagine that after she read your post about naked sledding, she rolled her eyes and left home… Hi Sally!
Minephew….I believe the school district is paying you big bucks to teach math to the leaders of tomorrow, yet here you are checking on the Olympic results, making arcane golf references, and playing Words With Friends. Is this yet another snow day, or are you merely slacking off? For those who aren’t aware, this stellar Michigan teacher has his students do his March Madness statistics….for a grade, not for a cut of the action, I hope. 🙂 And Liza, don’t you think a blog-lovers’ reunion in Maine would be nice? Maybe at – oh, I don’t know – a certain lovely home in Cape Porpoise, Maine? Maybe John and Deb could handle the overflow.
I use my conference and lunch time wisely. But now I am suppose to be teaching so bye!!
Vyse that was sort of old news but I’ll give you a pass since you’ve been busy moving into the Bates motel.
Happy birthday chocolate bunny man!!! Can we all celebrate with chocolate bunnies?
Happy birthday, Twonka!!! And, awesome stuff on Ligety! All kinds of excitement over there these days…
Wannabe… Another Michigan teacher blogging on school time! Simply appalling. 🙂
Thanks to all for the B’day wishes! You are all great! Anyone sending #2 an address will get a chocolate bunny in return, promise! (thanks for the help Mel!) AnnaB, Thanks for the kind words! I will show Sal MOST of the blog later today; and minephew, I only visit the whites when your uncle is in town…
Great stuff on Ligety JW,you’re getting better with age!
Only kidding about the bunnies! In fact we are still foaming at the mouth over a box of chocolate covered cashews that #2 delivered last week!
#2, how many ways can I get you my address?
OK, I am so confused, can we get a scorecard???? Who is #2 sister? Remember Joey?
Joey who?? #2 sister here…I am Mary Ellen, Joe’s sister…Michigan sister is our MUCH (not really) older sister Joanne, so I am #2 sister. TWONKA is Joe’s best friend since high school, and he and his lovely wife Sally own the most amazing chocolate shops near here. They make incredible candy, and the most amazing chocolate covered potato chips (you may not think you’d like them but trust me on this one!) Minephew (Michigan nephew) -Ed – and Wannabe Spectator – Amy – are Joanne’s kids, and Vyse Guy – John – is my son (he works on Vyse Avenue) and CANDT2ANDJANDA (Craig&Trisha&Julia&Adam) are my daughter and her family. When the blog first started years ago, they were just CANDT2, but they keep having children! I have another daughter Tracy, but she just reads the blog! 2012Host is our friend Leah…she and her husband live in London, and she was a volunteer at the 2012 Games, and was a big help to Joe and Amy, who went as a real spectator then. John and Deb (Maineiacs? – not sure what pseudonym they use) you know from Cape Porpoise. John Filzen, from whom I think we only heard once, is another h.s. friend of Joe and Terry (TWONKA), which is Terry Wonka instead of Willie Wonka. I think I covered everyone you might not know. Hope this helped….and the next time you come east, make sure you get some of that chocolate! (Although FYI, they ship!) #2
Great stuff on Liigety, Joe!! We’re really enjoying all your pictures, stories, and interactives.
And, yes, Twonka does ship his chocolate. We wouldn’t consider having anything else here in Michigan for Easter!!
Hi Mary Ellen. You, I know, but I didn’t know that you were #2. So thanks for all that information. I am going to run and do a family tree. As far as the potato chips, you are wrong. I would not like them, I would LOVE them. Yes Annie, of course I remember the apples, I just didn’t know that’s who TWONKA is. So Happy Birthday again, TWONKA. What’s the business name? Just wanted to know who all these funny people are. I thought your Mom and Dad used to participate in the Blog? Hope they are well. Thanks again Mary Ellen. Got to run and have some chocolate, I mean dinner. Hi Joey. Hey Annie, when does Joe return?
The store is called The Alps, and there one in Beacon and one in Fishkill, just across the Hudson from us. I will get your address from Anne and send you a bag of the chips. You may consider moving back here after you eat them!
I just had some peanut butter cups shipped here, they were amazing…as always!
Mary Ellen, way to be my BFF!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m on vacation this week, so I’ll get them ASAP! 🙂
had to break in here……chocolate covered chips, chocolate apples,chocolate peanut butter cups, chocolate Ligety oops well cant have everything love your blogs,Joe also the one about the buggy hooch oh my god, joe mildred
Mary Ellen, Don’t worry about it. Just the thought made my day. I can order them for myself. Mildred, what is this, like an e.e.cummings thing. Did you really say “chocolate Ligety”? You are so out there!
I wish you could all see a video of David Attenborough doing curling commentary, in his nature program style. Someone at the BBC convinced him to do it. So far the video is only available over here due to licensing. The good old BBC – arguably better Olympics TV coverage than NBC? No offense intended!
Happy belated bday Twonka, and nice to meet you Liza 🙂
The recent Hotel Hooch experience made me wonder if “The Shining” is a popular book or movie there?
To paraphrase the Shining, 2012, “All work and no play makes for a dull blog.”
And we were able to see the Attenborough piece here. It is the talk of the media center. quite funny.
I think Mrs. Leigh gets the gold for funniest blog comment…chocolate Ligety is hilarious! And not such a bad idea! Can you get started in that, TWONKA??
Glad the media center can get the BBC stuff.
Also wondering what the vibe is like since the RU men’s hockey team was eliminated?
Good morning all. Okay, so you all know it’s 2014, right? There’s this great thing called google. Just Google David Attenborough and curling. You too can enjoy this little gem. Where’s Joey?